This post is completely sarcastic and humorous. I actually have a love for Wordpress, so please don't take this the wrong way.
Wordpress sucks… Yes, you heard me right: W O R D P R E S S – S U C K S. I write today to save you from the agony named Wordpress, and to prevent you from conforming to the number one content management system.
To explain it better I have provided two pictures.
You, when not using Wordpress:
You using Wordpress.
"Wait a minute, you use it." I use it because the only tutorials available are for it. I use it because I was following the crowd. Well, that was a mistake. Wordpress kills me more and more every time I use it. The makers should be ashamed of creating a free CMS for blogging. Now every one can start a blog for free; Think about all the noobs who constantly waste your time with their LOL cats pictures and crappy duplicate content. Because of Wordpress the internet has been held back. Why can't they be more like the revolutionary Internet Explorer 6? Why! Wordpress sickens me.
What I hate even more is that everyone uses it. Maybe they want to have categories(blogger doesn't have categories), or not pay 250 dollars for Typepad. These people sicken me, and if you are a Wordpress user immediately convert to another platform. Every succesful blogger has to use Wordpress. Wordpress, Wordpress, Wordpress. Stand out from the crowd, use something else. Or better yet, code your blog from scratch like they used to do before blogging CMS. Trust me, you will thank me. It may take a few years to learn, but it's all worth it.
And all the stupid plug-ins. They are enough to make any resonable person bang their head against their computer, take off their clothes, and run outside screaming. I know, I have done it many times. When I relized that there were thousands of plug-ins, and they were free, I almost threw my computer out the window. I didn't though, I knew I had to dedicate myself to the prevention of Wordpress. The plug-ins just have to be automatic to install too. What ever happened to a challenge. Bloggers of today have no problem skills thanks to Wordpress's stupid plug-ins. With them, they don't even have to code anything. I don't remember anything this bad since they came out with CSS.
When I found out that you could easily find and install free themes, my computer got it. I threw it out the window, burned it, and smashed it with a hammer. What happened to taking months and months to design your own themes, then get laughed at when everyone hates them. You can even customize themes with no coding required!
I got back from my psychologist today. After he helped me control my anger, I bought a new computer. Since i'm 13, i'm quickly running out of money. I had to use my life savings on the computer this is being written on. My psychologist told me to quite Wordpress so I don't hurt myself or my belongings. I told him I would, but I knew I couldn't. I have to stop the madness.
One minute, I'm recieving a comment. Wait, how did he/she upload that image. It doesn't say she signed up for a Wordpress account! Okay, she/he informed me Wordpress uses a universual system where you don't even need to get an account. What! No account needed! Were's the constant filling out of forms, the annoying password retrevial? It's all gone.
I am on a thread here. I am more disturbed than iv'e ever been in my entire life. Anyways, today i'm just recieved a reply to my thread on Digital Point forums. I was asking where I should buy a spam filter for comments. "Just activate Akismet", he said, "It's free." My computer hit a tree as it flew out the window.
Wait, Before You Flame the Comments
As I mentioned at the beginning of the article, I don't really hate Wordpress. I don't think it sucks, I think it rocks.
So why did I write this post?
I was tired of the boring old posts like: "15 reasons I love Wordpress", and "The Best CMS…" I have no problem with this posts, it's just well, everyone writes them, and their as overused as the default Wordpress theme.
I wanted to show my love for Wordpress, while at the same time providing an interesting and unique post. That idea evolved until I ended up writing completely dramatic humor (my speciality). So if you take me throwing my computer out the window multiple times seriously, then feel free to post comments like "Hey! You have not described any of the reasons for Wordpress sucking" or "The only think that sucks is your writing style" or a host of other comments so inapporpriate I had to delete, I will agree with you.
The point of this post is to show off some of Wordpress's great features in a humorous way. So don't shun me, this site is proudly using Wordpress, and I recently switched my other site from Joomla to Wordpress (and Thesis).
Altinkum
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Oh Jake. I have only just come across your writing on this blog but you are absolutely fantastic. Once again the second article where you have had me in stitches through laughing.
Seems some other readers did not get your sense of humour but carry on with your style. It is unique, orignial and you are one of the few writers that manage to hold my attention. Well done.
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Jake O'Callaghan (14 comments) Reply:
March 5th, 2010 at 8:17 pm
Thanks, it’s always great when I get compliments about my writing. I’m glad that you are enjoying it.
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I will have to disagree here. WP is not responsible for all the spammy/crappy websites on the internet. It is actually an easy to install and use CMS and though I am not a huge fan of WP, it certainly doesn’t suck.
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WordPress.com has repeatedly refused to do anything about a hosted blog on their web site beyond deleting the images.
This blog has violated my copyright rights 3 times and violated my privacy twice all within a week and continues to harass me.
Does WP care? Not at all. So I agree WordPress.com sucks. They refuse to ever delete a blog for even violating their own TOS over and over. They don’t care how their users harass others. WordPress.com is very poorly run to say the least. They have no respect for their own TOS or the rights of others.
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typo:
“I’m Jake, a 14 webmaster…..”
You mean: “a 14 year-old webmaster…”
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It’s taken me a while, but i’ve figured out all the plugins that I needed for wordpress, and put them all in a default dir with a basic wordpress uninstalled version. That way when i start a new site, I can upload wordpress with all the important plugins already.
I def agree that it can be a PITA but, its sooo much better than trying to write my own blogging software!!
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yes wordpress sucks when it comes to linking pages-categories ,,pages- post. unlike and comparing to joomla and drupal. a lot of them uses it because of the fact that it is google loves it. its not really reflexible comparing to other cms.. i am considering it is only for blogging..but let wait for the joomla update to 1.6. where the seo patches is now included as a core of joomla installation..and btw.. if you are new to eveything and/or cms world.. choose the one that you are comfortably working work..
dont be a “MONKEY SEE MONKEY DO” type… hehehe…lets wait in the long run.. whose gona win
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wp totally because of permalinks. Complete pain in the twat. Select ‘custom’ so the bastard.com/contact means hey! … bastard.com/contact!!
Wankers!
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the only thing which sucks in wordpress for me is the image editor
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I really don’t understand this post. Wordpress is really good and everyone can use this CMS without any coding knowledge. Isn’t that fantastic?
crazy blogger´s last blog ..Amazing Google trick
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I like your way of writing…Cool and that too at such a small age. You will do wonders in the future
Forex Business Review´s last blog ..5 Money Management Tips for Your trading
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Hey Jake. I’m not good at English are you being sarcastic and you actually like wordpress? LOL today I just finished handcoding a site, no blog though just a static site.
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Jake O'Callaghan (14 comments) Reply:
December 3rd, 2009 at 6:47 pm
I’m just being sarcastic. Cool that you made a website though; I assume you built it with Wordpress?
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wordpress doesnot suck that much, it is good blogging tool as well as cms, and u r using wordpress too !!
Pritush´s last blog ..Google Wave invitations give away
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I beg to differ (lol) wordpress rocks!!!
-Ben
Ben Lang´s last blog ..Contest – Win 5 Great Prizes!
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Great post, you got me with the title and clicked it right away wanting to know what are the reasons that wordpress sucks.
Bryan´s last blog ..Firefox affected by Trojan
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Jake O'Callaghan (105 comments) Reply:
October 10th, 2009 at 7:54 am
Thanks, title are key.
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alright which version sucks
be specific 
recipes´s last blog ..Tropical Muffins Ww
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